“There Be Dragons” and the Myth of Readiness

I once heard that 16th century mariners and cartographers wrote,
There Be Dragons on maps just past the edge of the known world,
And then set sail in that direction anyway.

I’ve since learned that the phrase is actually “Here be Dragons”
and that it only existed on one globe ever.
But  I am a fan of mythology, and I’ve embraced that phrase many times in my life
when I needed to just take a deep breath, close my eyes, trust, and leap.

For me, the leap is the easy part.
The landing…? That’s another story.

I've been thinking a lot about what lives on the other side of the leap.
Like, actually lives.
It’s not so much the landing. (I’ve learned to tuck and roll and dust myself off.) 

For much of my life, leaping into the unknown meant moving away from something. Knowing that I was already more than the old landscape could hold. So I would leap through whatever doors opened, trusting myself to figure it out along the way. 

And somehow, I always did.

• But what happens when you're no longer trying to get away from something?

• When you're actually moving toward the thing you've been wanting for a really, really long time, and you aren’t sure you are actually ready?

• What does it mean to arrive at a moment that your Soul remembers as so freaking true to some version of you that you haven’t met yet, and that same moment feels so completely unfamiliar to your human Self?

Can we actually hold both things at once?

That's where I found myself last week.

In the middle of a river for a branding photo shoot, and then in a Florida recording studio, saying things out loud that I'd barely even admitted to myself.

And for someone who's spent years swearing to the Universe she's ready, I was having a pretty spectacular moment of: Oh, shit. Now I have to OWN it.

Apparently, knowing you're ready and actually showing up as the one who IS ready are two very different experiences. That is the difference between mind and body.

And maybe this is a good place to pause and talk about showing up.
I haven’t written in a while.
I was busy living, leaping, catching my breath, following nudges, and letting life…life.

If I’m being honest, my body just wanted to be selfish.
To savor it, experience it all, and receive everything I needed for me first, before sharing it all with you.

Or maybe I was just afraid.
What if it doesn’t turn out ok?
And also… What if it does?
I found a strange resistance to both rising up in me.
And that’s the edge of the map.
And the edge of duality inside of me. There be dragons.

There was (and still is) a lot at stake.
And I don’t actually know the full outcome yet.

My mind is having a rough time wrapping itself around what we’re doing over here these days, so I’ve had to ask it gently to take a back seat, and trust my body that we were, are, and will continue to be safe.
(That mental default programming is a tough one to override.)

This year, I completely dismantled the business I’d spent years building. Rooted & Real Healing and Self-Discovery grew out of my own life experiences, my education, and all of the wisdom I'd earned through doing the work myself. It served a beautiful purpose for a time. It gave me a place to grow, and play, and learn more about what I am here to do, while helping others heal and experience more of themselves.

Somewhere along the way, I realized the business I had created wasn’t my final destination. I am not actually here to heal or just discover.  I felt a deep calling, and something in me …remembered that my Soul came here to make a really big impact by creating the architecture for a completely new way of being and doing. (More on that soon.)

So, I needed to make a decision. (Because we always have a choice.) 

Do I keep doing what is safe and comfortable?
My mind says, yes. This is good. No pressure. We know what to expect.

Or, do I start over (again)? Ooof. Even my body isn’t completely sure this is the right move because it feels like an edge… I really had to feel in to what was alive and aligned –even if it is new and uncomfortable.

Alignment and uncomfortability can co-exist.
And often do when we are evolving.
Just imagine if the caterpillar decided it was just too hard to become a butterfly…
I digress.

The thing is…
I knew that the myth of readiness wasn’t just about waiting until we are ready (because we will never feel ready enough).
But it also does not mean knowing what will happen next or at any point along the way.
It means trusting your SELF enough to follow what’s alive and true and pulling you forward. 

So, I gave myself permission to put down the business I built, the plans I had, and any expectation that I had about what came next. (For someone who has spent much of her life figuring things out, making shit happen, developing year-long curricula, and carrying an enormous amount of responsibility, that was a pretty unfamiliar place to be.)

I didn't have a new business model waiting for me to step into or a clear picture of how any of this would unfold. All I had was a calling that I could feel deep inside, and a growing sense that something BIG was coming to life inside of me. So I needed to set sail.

The months that followed took me to places I hadn't anticipated, both literally and within myself. In France and Colorado I had some extraordinary experiences that gave me an entirely new understanding of the work I've spent so much of my life preparing to do. (That’s earned wisdom, baby!) And something brand new dropped in that this girl’s big beautiful brain could never have imagined or created.  

In my travels, I became open to receiving. 

And that is something new for me.
Receiving without giving.
Being available for spontaneity.
Following what’s alive without mapping every detail…

My mind got to take a well-deserved vacation from over-thinking, over-analyzing, and what I call survival-planning for every possible scenario.

I've been allowing those experiences to settle, exploring what they mean to me, and recognizing connections I couldn't have made before living them out loud.

And I’ve realized that my brain doesn’t really want to return back to work, under the same job description. I actually think my system is getting an upgrade and rewiring its circuitry in real time.
It’s both frustrating and freeing.

And that's part of why I haven't been writing. I didn't want to turn every experience into content while I was still in the middle of it. I wanted the freedom to be fully in my own life without feeling responsible for immediately making something useful out of everything I encountered. This work is entirely relational, and I needed space to play and be in relationship with it.

But I think there was another part of it, too.

For all the trust I had in my calling, I wasn't quite ready to let other people witness me following it without knowing where it would lead.

There's a definite comfort in being able to tell a story once you know how it ends.
And I don’t know how it ends.
But I can’t wait to find out.

Here’s what I do know:

When you follow what you genuinely feel called to, it will lead you to more of what is for you.

The next steps are revealed with every step forward you choose to take.

Doors open where you never even imagined there could be pathways.

When we let the Soul all the way in, we honor the life we came here to live.

When we lead with love, we have a much clearer understanding of where we are going in the first place.

And I’ve also discovered that the brain loves a holiday from having to be in the driver’s seat.
Which can be a little nerve-wracking, navigating a new land while it’s still on vacation.

Last week, I had a branding photo shoot and a trip to Florida to record a conversation about who I am, the work I’m now doing, and this new world I'm creating for myself and my clients. And it felt like a really big deal.

This was my edge. Living after the leap.

It was one thing to spend months quietly following my calling, experiencing it, and allowing this new expression of myself to emerge. It was another thing entirely to step out into the world and let myself be SEEN in it.

So, I took a deep breath, connected with the fullest expression of my future-self, the one who already lives here, owns stages, speaks with fluid conviction that channels through her. I allowed her to fill my body so full that she simply radiated outward, and we set sail. 

And danced with the dragons.